Lost but Found . . .

I have sat down at the keyboard many, many, many times to write this post.

At first it was too painful, maybe a little bit embarrassing.

But I’m ready.

The truth is . . .

I lost myself.

For 5 mths I didn’t recognize myself.

I forgot what it felt like to smile,

to feel happy,

to feel joy.

I distanced myself from those that loved me.

I pushed people away.

I felt I had nothing to offer anyone.

It was painful to see the reflection staring back at me in the mirror.

I questioned my purpose, I questioned my path. I questioned myself.

I cried.

I felt the pain . . . even when I really didn’t understand where it was coming from.

I sat with the pain for days, weeks, months and for the first time in my life instead of running from it, I really, really felt it.

I cried for never feeling good enough,

for never being that “perfect” girl I have always wanted to be.

I cried for the pain I have been carrying around about just how difficult it was to suffer from an Eating Disorder.

I cried for my failed my marriage.

I cried for the last 2 years and how difficult it has been to be on my own.

I never cry.

But I let myself cry.

And it was exactly what I needed.

I needed to recognize that as much as I want to portray that I have it all together and that I am a strong girl who can take whatever life throws at her . . .

Sometimes I’m just not.

And that’s ok . . . It’s more than ok . . . it’s human.

I’m in a good place now.

But I needed that time to be lost to realize that’s it’s ok to be lost.

Because it really is.

Sometimes we need to lose ourselves to find ourselves again.

I have found love,

my smile,

my laugh,

joy.

The path is not always straight but eventually we find our way.

I’ve missed this little space

but I’ve found my way back.

xo

Krissy

Grateful

Beautiful Friends,

It is about to be July 1st and I have a lot to be grateful for. . .

It is no secret that this has been a difficult year for me. I felt it in my heart that my 30th year was going to be my year . . . however, it certainly did not turn out the way I had imagined. Yes,  I’ve learned a lot. I’ve truly learned what it means to struggle, to feel lost, to feel uncertain, to be filled with fear. But I’ve also learned that regardless of all that . . . I am still standing.

I am turning 31 in 3 weeks and things need to be different. I am ready to take what I have learned over this past year and move forward. I am ready to focus less on my fears and more on my dreams. I am ready to stop worrying about the future and live in the moment. I am ready to give up the idea of “perfection” and embrace my imperfections. I am ready to accept love and give it unconditionally.

I am grateful for many things in my life . . . here a just a few . . .

Amazing Girlfriends

My FamJam!

Unconditional Love

Good Wine

Always being a dreamer

What are you grateful for?

xo

Krissy

Here I am

I’ve lost track at the number of times I have sat down to write a new post. Truth is . . . I haven’t felt that I’ve had a lot to offer these last couple of months. I want you to come here for inspiration . . . And I’ve been lacking that.   Truth […]

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I’m still here

Set me free. Leave me be. I don’t want to fall another moment into your gravity. xo Krissy

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I am

I am . . . A daughter; A sister; A friend; An introvert; Impulsive; Stubborn; A dreamer; A believer in fairy tales; Learning to love myself; Feisty; A work in progress. I am . . . Searching for the beauty in each day and each moment. Searching for the joy that comes from simply breathing. […]

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What If . . .

I have always wanted all the answers. Wanted that crystal ball to appear . . . So that I could look into the future . . . To know that I’ll be safe. Taken care of. Loved. I want that certainty . . . That everything is going to be ok. Maybe it’s because I […]

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Vlog #4 May Cause Miracles

Hi Beauty Queens & Kings! Happy 2013! Enjoy my Vlog! Edit: Please replace the word “joy” with “love” – I’m not sure why I was saying “joy”, I really meant “love” Email at balanceisbeauty@rogers.com if you would be interested in starting up a book club or conversation (either online or in person) about either “May […]

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Vlog #3

Hi Friends! I have some fun new products to share with you! Hope you enjoy! Side note: Yes I say “dessert” when in fact it is “desert” – should probably go back to Grade 3  . . .  what I’m saying in that section of the video doesn’t make much sense so lets pretend the […]

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My Baby Got a Makeover!

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Loves! My lil blog had a makeover and I’m so excited to share it with you!! I have the amazingly beautiful and patient Jenny to thank for this new look – I highly recommend her services if you are looking to give your blog a little facelift! Not only has her blog continued to inspire […]

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I’m a Spirit Junkie!

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Hi Loves! Thanks so much for all of your kind comments on my last Vlog – I hope if you tried my smoothie you loved it as much I do! Since i have started incorporating green smoothies back into my everyday routine I have felt SO much better and have also noticed a difference in […]

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